9/14/10 First Writing Workshop Entry

notes:

Where you are today

Where you plan to be 7 weeks from now

“and” bridge 

With my writing in 7 weeks I would like to bring up new ideas, desires, plans, through my writing. I want to positively create a space in myself for my self. To develop and tend to my Self garden in my mind-heart space.

I have a lot I need to process... love and loss.

I want to get the junk out so that I can get to the good stuff, the fun playful stuff. I'd like to come up with a story. I'd like to write a script. I'd like to find truth within myself. I want to find a new energy that excites me.

Today I am tired. I'd like to be excited.

 The prompt begins:

And now I write, I type, I click and spacebar, I search for meaning, I seek forgiveness within, I write for myself, I write to cleanse. I write to be open to my vulnerabilities, I write to express my sadness, I write to celebrate, I write about new friendships, I am open to describe MY life through MY eyes, thereby attributing importance and value to what is inside of me.

And now I know that I can. Now I know that it will find me. I know to try, to give to myself. I know that I need to be gentle with things I know I can give and yet not to give freely, because the first at the line will be the fastest taker. I know now I don't need any more takers in my life.

And now I write that I love you. I love you enough to love myself.

I write to appreciate that which is unique about me, lovely and eccentric me, I write and think of my now, coming into the present moment with the wind blowing gently and constant from my fan.

And now I know how strong I am to battle my own heart. How I can stand up for myself, and now I know I believe in myself. I love myself enough to love you without contributing to the cause. And now I know that the only way to do this is to remove myself from the equation.

And now I write I am sorry if this hurts you.

I am sorry if this hurts you. I am sorry if you don't like it. I love you so much that I can not support you and what you are doing to yourself. I value myself, I value what I have to give and the only way I can be clear about what I do not agree with is by removing something of value from the situation. Which puts more value on it, and makes it necessary for decision. Working from within is hard yet necessary stuff. Everyone is worthy of selfless self-love.  

Comments

[Julie Jordan Scott]

I have tears in my eyes, big salty ones. That final sentence is a mantra worth repeating. And repeating. And repeating.

So much love, dear Coryn....

I find it so cool that two of the blogs for folks writing for "And Now You Write" his afternoon are Bakersfield friends and the other blog I read is from a friend in Scotland.

Thank you for writing, for being willing to be raw, real... and a model for others who may long to terrify themselves a little (as I mentioned in the audio)... but are afraid. You show here... it is safe, sometimes so much better than safe... to be terrified.

[CMcB]

Thank you Julie! You are an inspiration!