detach from the ache

When I write with passionate wonder and let go of worry I open myself to...giving over to the moment. Losing myself, skipping distraction and going straight to the source. I try to be lifted from my physical aches and pains by getting lost in thought, lost in present writing. Passionate, present, detached

Passion has lulled in my routine, due to my routine? Due to the confining perimeters of my routine. This is what has made me stretch, push away, kicking, writhing. It is not for unhappiness of what the routine entails. I love what I do and that is why I do it, however the constricting schedule has made itself known first in my feet, moving up my legs to my hips, tightening my ribcage, and finally at my neck I realize it's time. It's time for me to take time for myself, so that I might find breath again. It is not a reflection on anything other than time. Time is something I've given away, sold for less than it is worth, and abused for years. Presently waiting, lucky for my late cousin who without realizing gives me more time for my passionate present detached free form monologue to take shape. Detached I ignore grammar. Detached, I sit in my clouded head, made foggy from a lingering sickness I just can't shake. I want to be more detached...letting go..breathing in...and then I cough.   

Is this pain, this sickness, due to the stress I've put on my soul? I want to stretch my spirit, find a new wind, kick off the old pants and run. I don't feel passionate enough, detached enough, and far too present in this. All I can do is feel and moan, and grumble. I want to get out to songdog asap. To feel away from this city, these recent events and the pressure put on my body from them. I want to sleep for a week, I want to write and type in the fetal position.

 

Comments

[Julie Jordan Scott]

Ohhh to be in Songdog with you! Writing and typing in the fetal position OUTSIDE. Now that is where the glory lives, much of the time. I fell asleep in the middle of the day and feel like I was smooshed by a twelve and a half foot ogre. How can one write/type when I feel like this? I hope you feel better soon... can't believe how long this cough is holding on!